reggiespoon:

quasi-normalcy:

such-justice-wow:

This tweet is just… Odd. Very odd.

ALT

Like… You live like this? You write like this? You think like this??

I want to be absolutely clear that, when I write an alcoholic character, it’s because I think that alcohol addiction and drinking to excess are cool. Just like when I write a criminal, I’m trying to persuade you, the reader, to take up a life of larceny and murder. Just so long as that’s understood.

Oh good, because that’s 100% the message I take from fictional media. For instance, I watched Hannibal for recipes and relationship advice.

schistcity:

i come from the 8tracks generation where you weren’t allowed to just dump three and a half twee indie folk/tswift records into a fanmix and call it done. on 8tracks you had 8+ handpicked songs in rigid chronological order and an accompanying mission statement and thesis defence detailing exactly why each one applied to your derek x stiles coffee shop au AND cover/track-list art hodgepodged from stolen pinterest/tumblr aesthetic photography, and all of this was done under constant threat of death because it was the DMCA wild west and the site was in a constant state of gradual collapse.

maidofsalt:

maidofsalt:

maidofsalt:

im gonna get a huge wolf-like husky and give it a name like James or David or Sandra or something. Something really human sounding. And convince everyone who comes to my house that theyre just my friend who was cursed with lycanthropy.

I’m gonna renovate my guest bedroom so it looks really lived in. It’s got posters for like. Wolves and stuff on the walls. And a to do list that has stuff like “pay rent” “turn into dog” and I’m gonna put some scratch marks on the walls and the bed and a chain on the heater. And I’m gonna train the dog to sleep there so it really pulls off the whole effect. This is a really long con plan.

I discussed this idea with a classmate of mine and they pointed out that when i was looking for a room mate and said “you need to be out of the house every full moon and be okay with large dogs” they would surely assume that I was the werewolf in this mix and really this is just the beginning of my life as a weird tv sitcom.

headspace-hotel:

tolkienhoe:

femmefaramir:

penny-anna:

kayla-bird:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)

further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.

omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards

by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.

Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards

@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror

Every day, against my will, the LOTR fandom makes posts.

1995lahaine:

COCAINE BEAR

COCAINE BEAR 2: 2CO2CAINE

COCAIN3 B3AR: R3HAB

THE COCAINE AND THE BE4R

COKE BEAR VS GODZILLA (cameos from: king kong, the megalodon from the meg, the gorilla from rampage starring dwayne the rock johnson)

COCAINE BEAR 6: THE COKENING

COCAINE WOLF (failed attempt at a spinoff universe, straight-to-dvd)

THE COCAINE BEAR

LSD BEAR (short film)

SPEED BEAR (short film)

COCAINE BEAR THE NEXT GENERATION

THE COCAINE BEAR’S SNOWY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

COCAINE BEAR: ORIGINS

COCAINE BEAR (an attempted reboot, does nothing the original didn’t)

COCAINE BEAR: THE FINAL CHAPTER

voyagerprobe:

han solo would shoot duncan idaho and run. luke skywalker and paul atreides would have crazy lesbian sex and then go through a messy breakup. jabba the hutt and baron harkonnen would share a fat cuban cigar in bed.

jame7t:

“cats can’t do any tricks” well wrong.

cats can:

• sniff
• fall off things
• Lick plastic (BAD trick)

funnytwittertweets:

grrsalot:

i love you polls i love you democracy i love you funny tumblr jokes i love you vanilla extract i love you vanilla extract i love you vanilla extract i love you vanilla extract

highstrionics:

some of y'all don’t have a core memory of cecil saying “steve carlsberg (derogatory)” or “ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD” and it shows